Weddings appear to be back in style after the pandemic kept engaged couples on the edge (others on a ledge), wedding venues praying they’d have at least one or two to keep them going, bridal gown boutiques holding flash sales with little flash, and caterers going into another line of work to make ends meet.
Post pandemic, wedding trends have changed and, according to cuttingedgeentertainment.com, couples are looking for new ways to celebrate their special day. For example, due to rescheduling, postponements and a surge in engagements, weekday weddings have become extremely popular. Weekday weddings, rather than the typical weekend wedding, enable the couple to save a bit of money on their venue and vendors.
Another dramatic change is that couples are focusing more on the entertainment of their guests, bringing in live event painting, game stations, beer burros (strictly in the southwest – take a look at beerburro.com), photo booths, mobile bars, etc. So, it doesn’t have to be the standard cocktail hour and a sit-down dinner anymore to plan a successful wedding reception.
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We all know that food trucks are in and the latest way to feed a group. Couples are now considering food trucks to serve appetizers, desserts, pizza, tacos, popcorn and a variety of snacks. I went to a wedding last year and they had a food truck parked outside the venue so that when guests left the reception, they could be rewarded with a box of pizza to save for a late-night snack – it was fabulous!
A wedding registry is the definite way to go for a couple taking the plunge. And some couples have decided to do away with the standard wedding gifts of sheets and towels, pots and pans and all the items to start a home, because couples are getting married later in life and already have what they need.
According to The Knot 2021 Registry Study, 60% of all couples add money to their wedding registry. The registry is the easiest way to give money as a wedding gift. If the happy couple wants cash in lieu of physical gifts, they’ll create a cash fund on their registry. Whether they want to use the monetary gifts for a down payment on a new home or plan on putting it toward a honeymoon fund, donating to a cash fund gives the couple plenty of flexibility for newlywed life.
A few years ago, one of my nephews was honeymooning in a snowy part of the world and one of the gifts on his registry was a sleigh ride in the moonlight. That was my choice and I know he and his bride enjoyed it because they sent me a picture. It was an amazing idea for the couple and for the gift giver – me!
One of the biggest perks in donating to a cash fund allows you to gift what you can comfortably afford. Deciding the amount you give is based on how well you know the couple and how much you can afford to spend. If you’re already spending a lot on travel and pre-wedding event gifts, it’s OK to give a smaller gift that aligns with your budget.
In the past, guests were sometimes encouraged to give a gift that would cover their plate at the reception, or to give a gift that matched what the to-be-weds gave them as a wedding gift. However, according to etiquette experts, neither rule applies today. What’s in today is to gift the couple with what you can comfortably afford.
If you want statistics, according to online dating site Tinder, on average, most guests will spend between $75 and $200 on wedding gift money, and the national average is $160. What you spend also depends on if you’re going solo or with a date.
Aside from using the couple’s registry for guidance, couples are also asking guests to send gift cards rather than cash or items. While cash fund donations can be used for just about anything, gift cards are a thoughtful way to personalize your present. The Knot Registry Store has partnered with plenty of gift card retailers like Airbnb, Delta Airlines, HomeGoods and more.
However, if you’re old fashioned like me, and you insist on putting cash or a check in a wedding card, etiquette experts recommend writing a brief note in the wedding card to accompany your present. If you’re giving money as a wedding gift, it’s a two-part play: Give both money and thoughtfulness. Forget formality and write whatever is genuinely you. Be funny, sentimental, or witty — just write something they can keep and look back at fondly.
If you attend the wedding, when you arrive at the reception look for a designated gift table to drop your card. Some couples might also have a wishing well or designated card basket—just be sure to leave your card in the appropriate spot so it doesn’t get lost at the venue.
Another popular wedding gift idea that grew out of the pandemic is to donate to a charity in the couple’s name if they’ve requested it. Some to-be-weds have set up a charity registry through platforms like JustGive or Crowdrise, especially if they don’t want physical gifts. Charity registries are a wonderful alternative to traditional wedding presents and highly recommended if there’s an opportunity. Simply follow the couple’s directions on their wedding website or registry page and donate any wedding gift amount to the organization of their choice.
Most of all, be happy for the couple who have decided to tie the knot. It’s their day to shine and good friends and warm family members truly add to their happiness.
Peg DeMarco is a Morganton resident who writes a weekly features column for The News Herald. Contact her at pegdemarco@earthlink.net.
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